Hi! I’m Nicole. I am the mom of 3 boys who keep me hopping every day. I am a photographer, sometimes a runner and terrible at keeping my house clean. I’d like to blame that on the 3 boys, and while they definitely contribute to the mess, I just really hate housework!
Why I started this:
For years I have struggled with my personal gospel study. Just reading the Scriptures through never seemed to give me what I wanted, but studying a topic was difficult for me without a structure. I wanted more out of my personal study than I was getting. The time in my life when I felt the most in tune with the Spirit and like I was actually improving my relationship with my Savior came during a time when I was feeling very broken. Without divulging a story that isn’t mine to share, let’s just say, I felt lost, alone and like my life had taken a turn I could never have anticipated. I wasn’t sure I would ever be the same. In all honesty, I never will be. I found myself relying on my Savior and feeling Him carry me through. As a result I was able to do some work to really improve myself and my relationship with Christ. Through the example of some extraordinary women who I admire to this day and the help of the LDS church’s addiction recovery program and manual, I was able to build a strong relationship with Christ. That program saved me during a time when I didn’t know how I would make it through. I certainly did not make it through on my own. In spite of the pain and turmoil of that time of my life, I am glad I will never be the same as I was before. I recommend working through the 12 step program provided in the church’s addiction recovery program to anyone who wants to learn how to apply the Atonement in their life whether addiction is a part of your story or not.
Fast forward 10 years and I found myself drifting. Life with small children was busy and stressful. Caring for the needs of my children and the struggles they face in this life, supporting a husband through school and the beginning of a career, trying to keep us afloat financially, spiritually and physically as well as deal with the challenges of pregnancy and my own health situation – any mother can tell you, those years are… well … a lot. And very little of it is for the mom. I felt like I had lost something. I had lost ME. And I was desperate to find that strong, confident and capable woman I knew I once was.
I knew the best way for me to find that girl again was through my relationship with Christ, but I needed a structure for my study. I started searching for systems or workbooks I could use that would get me thinking and applying the things I read rather than just reading the words and then moving on in my day. Some of the people I was following on social media who I felt very inspired by were not members of my faith, but they had great faith and seemed to have a much better relationship with God than I felt I had at the time. They knew how to listen, hear His voice, and turn that voice into action. I wanted that DESPERATELY. I knew a few of them used daily devotional books. They would choose a new one that spoke to them every year and work through it daily. It gave them a topic of study, some inspiration and scripture and urged them to think, ponder, and write. Writing for me was always an outlet for my thoughts. It helped me organize the chaos that swirled around in my brain and helped me connect my thoughts. I had gotten away from the regular writing I used to do. I was excited about the idea of reading, pondering, writing and listening again.
So I started searching. Greater Christianity is full of these types of devotional books. Bible study guides, books and journals, daily devotional books – I even found the Duck Dynasty Daily Devotional. But when I tried to find something that incorporated more than the Bible – the Book of Mormon and words from my LDS prophets and leaders – I couldn’t find anything.
Another few years went by. Every January I would try again to find something that would help me, and I always walked away frustrated that we didn’t have a resource in our church community that I felt would give me what I was looking for.
Then one day it hit me. I don’t have to find one. I could create one. Surely I am not the only person who could benefit from this sort of program. It was a terrifying thought for me. I have a lot of big ideas, but I am not very good at actually making them happen. But this one was different. I felt the pull every day. I felt an urgency to create this thing, if only for my own personal study. And if I could find a way to share it and help others who were searching as well, even better. I truly felt that this needed to be out there.
Right now I am sitting in the corner of a Starbucks eating a blueberry muffin and sipping on a grande hot chocolate that keeps burning my mouth. I dropped my son off at ski school for the day and promised myself a few hours of work – not distraction. No social media, no Netflix or YouTube or catching up on episodes of TV I have missed. I am surrounded by books, quotes, and scriptures I have collected over the months and I am putting pen to paper – or rather finger to keyboard. I hope this system helps you as much as I dream. I hope together we can learn to be mindful and present. To meditate and ponder on the things that are the most important. I hope that time of being still will help us to listen and communicate with our Father in Heaven who loves us and has great plans for us. That we will be better mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers. That we will be able to act on promptings and go boldly forward with faith, fueled by the Spirit that we have finally come to know and understand. That we will learn how He speaks to us so that we can hear. Come with me friends and let us “be still and know that [He] is God.” (Psalms 46:10)