Daily Devotionals

Depression 3

nicolepmiles

“I wish to speak to those who suffer from some form of mental illness or emotional disorder, whether those afflictions be slight or severe, of brief duration or persistent over a lifetime. We sense the complexity of such matters when we hear professionals speak of neuroses and psychoses, of genetic predispositions and chromosome defects, of bipolarity, paranoia, and schizophrenia. However bewildering this all may be, these afflictions are some of the realities of mortal life, and there should be no more shame in acknowledging them than in acknowledging a battle with high blood pressure or the sudden appearance of a malignant tumor.” (Jeffrey R. Holland, “Like a Broken Vessel,” October, 2013)

I believe this with all of my heart. I have children with emotional and behavioral diagnoses and we talk openly about them. I teach them that it is part of them, something they fight every, but it is not who they are. They know it is not something to be ashamed of or hidden away, it is just part of life. I, myself, have been very open about my struggles with anxiety over the years. For some reason, this new battle with depression has me all discombobulated. It is hard to admit and hard to talk about. I’m not sure how to ask for help, or what help I need. It is making me feel very uneasy as I work to be present for my family and live up to other commitments I have. Who am I, when there are so many others who are also struggling, to ask for help or to admit that callings or additional pressures may just be too much right now?

Who am I? A daughter of God. One who is fighting a very real, though unseen battle that only those who have traveled through can truly understand. I know that now as I experience it first hand for the first time. I thought I understood. I did not. Ask for what you need. Talk about it. Let your leaders, friends and family in and let them ease unnecessary burdens. And reach. Reach for your Father in Heaven, for your Savior who knows and will walk the path with you.

Daily Devotionals

Depression 2

nicolepmiles

“Let me leave the extraordinary illnesses I have mentioned to concentrate on MDD—“major depressive disorder”—or, more commonly, “depression.” When I speak of this, I am not speaking of bad hair days, tax deadlines, or other discouraging moments we all have. Everyone is going to be anxious or downhearted on occasion. The Book of Mormon says Ammon and his brethren were depressed at a very difficult time,2 and so can the rest of us be. But today I am speaking of something more serious, of an affliction so severe that it significantly restricts a person’s ability to function fully, a crater in the mind so deep that no one can responsibly suggest it would surely go away if those victims would just square their shoulders and think more positively—though I am a vigorous advocate of square shoulders and positive thinking!

No, this dark night of the mind and spirit is more than mere discouragement. I have seen it come to an absolutely angelic man when his beloved spouse of 50 years passed away. I have seen it in new mothers with what is euphemistically labeled “after-baby blues.” I have seen it strike anxious students, military veterans, and grandmothers worried about the well-being of their grown children.

And I have seen it in young fathers trying to provide for their families. In that regard I once terrifyingly saw it in myself. At one point in our married life when financial fears collided with staggering fatigue, I took a psychic blow that was as unanticipated as it was real. With the grace of God and the love of my family, I kept functioning and kept working, but even after all these years I continue to feel a deep sympathy for others more chronically or more deeply afflicted with such gloom than I was.” (Jeffrey R. Holland, “Like a Broken Vessel,” October, 2013)

I am extraordinarily grateful for the climate we live in in regards to mental health. I know we have a long way to go. It still feels hard and embarassing to talk about — even for me and I am the biggest advocate for the normalization of mental health issues. We talk about it openly in our house and make sure our kids don’t feel ashamed of their struggles, but for some reason it is still hard for ME to admit that I am going through a depression. I am still trying to work out why I feel that way. But I am grateful for leaders who are willing to talk about it. I am so grateful for Elder Holland for sharing his struggle with us. And I am grateful for a Savior who can ease the burden. I am reaching for Him with all my might.

Daily Devotionals

Depression 1

nicolepmiles

“Quote/Scripture of focus: In striving for some peace and understanding in these difficult matters, it is crucial to remember that we are living—and chose to live—in a fallen world where for divine purposes our pursuit of godliness will be tested and tried again and again. Of greatest assurance in God’s plan is that a Savior was promised, a Redeemer, who through our faith in Him would lift us triumphantly over those tests and trials, even though the cost to do so would be unfathomable for both the Father who sent Him and the Son who came. It is only an appreciation of this divine love that will make our own lesser suffering first bearable, then understandable, and finally redemptive.” (Jeffrey R. Holland, “Like a Broken Vessel,” October, 2013)

I have been reading this talk over and over today, and I can’t settle on just one quote to share, so I will be sharing from this talk every day this week in the hope that it will reach those who need it. Anxiety is nothing new for me. I have lived with and managed mild, moderate and high levels of anxiety all of my adult life. But depression is new for me. I am feeling a great sense of empathy for those who struggle with depression on a regular basis and figuring out ways to claw my way through the muddy tunnel I find myself in. I think one of the hardest parts is that, while I have a strong testimony of the Atonement and a Savior who walks beside me always, I am having a hard time feeling Him through the mud. Trying to recognize that as the depression and not as something I am doing wrong, or feeling doubt and despair that I am being left alone is a daily battle. I know He is there and I know He is on my side, even when I am having a hard time feeling ANYTHING through the fog of depression.

Meditation and Journaling Prompt: Have you, or anyone you love, experienced depression?

Daily Devotionals

Become as a Child

nicolepmiles

“Behold, he who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more.” (D&C 58:42)

My 6 year old son got in trouble at school today. When it came time for us to talk about it, he went through a lot of emotions—he is my sensitive, emotional, artist type. First he got silly, then lashed out at me in anger, and then ran to the couch in the other room to hide his tears. When I coaxed him to me for a hug, and told him I still loved him and forgave him he said with trembling lip and giant tears, “but I don’t know if Heavenly Father will forgive me!”
I’m so glad I took the time to hear him out, because a powerful teaching moment presented itself.

“You made a mistake right?”
“Yeah.”
“Did Heavenly Father know we were all going to make mistakes?”
“Yeah.”
“So he gave us a great gift. Do you know what that was?”
“No.”
“A Savior! And Jesus came and suffered for our mistakes so that we could be forgiven right?”
“Yeah.”
“So what do you need to do?”
“Say sorry.”
“Right! Ask Him for forgiveness, and then try your hardest not to make that same mistake again. But if you do, He will still forgive you. He will forgive you every. Single. Time. For any mistake, no matter how big it is. Because He loves you so much.”

The tears stopped and a little smile turned the corners of his lips. And then he was off—doing headstands on the stairs and somersaults through the halls, a burden lifted because of the simple, miraculous truth of the beautiful plan of salvation and a Savior who loves Him.

Become as a little child…

Meditation and Journaling Prompt: What is your mistake today that is weighing you down and keeping you from somersaulting through your life? Do you believe you will be forgiven or are you stuck thinking your sin is too big?

Daily Devotionals

Strength through Christ

nicolepmiles

“My dear brothers and sisters, we live in a most difficult dispensation. Challenges, controversies, and complexities swirl around us. These turbulent times were foreseen by the Savior. He warned us that in our day the adversary would stir up anger in the hearts of men and lead them astray. Yet our Heavenly Father never intended that we would deal with the maze of personal problems and social issues on our own.

God so loved the world that He sent His Only Begotten Son to help us. And His Son, Jesus Christ, gave His life for us. All so that we could have access to godly power—power sufficient to deal with the burdens, obstacles, and temptations of our day.” (Russell M. Nelson, “Drawing the Power of Jesus Christ into Our Lives,” April 2017)

I’m so thankful for a Heavenly Father who came up with a plan so that I could progress and have grand experiences full of love and joy. I know them because I also know loss and pain. I am deeply and immeasurably grateful for a Savior who offered Himself up so that the plan would work. Who suffered in the garden and died on the cross for me. For YOU. For us all. In so doing he forged the way for us, intercedes on our behalf and waits for us with open arms.

He knows me. He knows what it is to be Nicole, overwhelmed mother of 3 boys – equal parts challenging and beautiful. Experiencing depression for the first time in her life and trying to muddle through each day even though it feels like trying to swim through cement. He shows me through little glimpses of divinity—messages only I would be able to recognize as such. And he knows you too. Watch for His messages. Expect to see them. They are there. You can make it through this, whatever it is, with His help.

Meditation/Journaling Prompt: NOTICE the little messages from Christ today.

Daily Devotionals

Our Divine, Inherent Worth

nicolepmiles

“But the Lord said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7)

 

There is a lot of buzz going right now in the social media world among influencers. The talk has been centered on being real and authentic and not so curated and on fighting the comparison trap inherent in social media. We are so quick to see our own flaws and ignore those of others. We judge at first glance and then hold ourselves to ridiculous standards which, in the end, just don’t matter. What matters is that we know our inherent worth as divine children of a Heavenly Father.

Elder Zwick said in our last conference “We live in a world that feeds on comparisons, labeling, and criticism. Instead of seeing through the lens of social media, we need to look inward for the godly attributes to which we each lay claim. These godly qualities and longings cannot be posted on Pinterest or Instagram.” (Elder Craig W. Zwick, “Lord, Wilt Thou Cause That My Eyes May Be Opened,” October 2017)

Satan will put so many ideas into our head of what we need to look like in order to have value in this world, but our value doesn’t come from outside apearances or a perfectly curated instagram feed. Our value is the same no matter what we look like, what we wear, what amazing vacations we aren’t going on or whether or not we put the perfect gourmet healthy meal on the table for our familes each day. Our value comes from the God who made us, for we are His.

Meditation and Journaling Prompt: Do you know your divine, inherent worth?

Call to Action: I challenge you to unfollow any account that doesn’t lift you up or makes you feel less than the amazing child of God that you are.

 

Daily Devotionals

Nephi had it rough

nicolepmiles

“And it came to pass that I, Nephi, said unto my father: I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.” (1 Nephi 3:7)

I find myself coming back to Nephi often. 1 Nephi – the chapters I have read most often in the BOM as I repeatedly resolve to read more and then get lost in the Isaiah chapters or in the middle of Alma somewhere. But there is so much to be learned from Nephi and his faith and courage. Nephi ACTS. He trusts His Father in Heaven so completely that he just goes and does without questioning how or why. And even with that great faith and trust things don’t come easy for him. He has to travel in the wilderness for a long time and it is HARD. It took 3 tries for him to get the plates from Laban and required him to kill someone, which he really did not want to do. He had to mine ore, build a ship from nothing, sail across a sea without a map or any idea how to sail. He got tied up and beaten up by his brothers countless times. He had great faith and knew that God would provide, but that didn’t make his days EASY. And he was ok with that. He did the work. The HARD work. Every day.

Life is hard folks. Even when things are going well, it is a lot of hard work. It was designed that way to refine us and give us knowledge and experience. But God will work it out for you – it still won’t be easy along the way, but in the end His will will out. And His greatest desire is for our ultimate joy. So hang in there and keep working through the hard. And if it seems like a lot, remember it could be worse… you could be eating raw meat in the wilderness and not have any idea where you were going or how to get there while your brothers beat you up every other day. 😉

Meditation and Journaling Prompt: What are the hard things you are working through right now? How can you lean into the Lord?

 

Daily Devotionals

Woman Power

nicolepmiles

 

“Attacks against the Church, its doctrine, and our way of life are going to increase. Because of this, we need women who have a bedrock understanding of the doctrine of Christ and who will use that understanding to teach and help raise a sin-resistant generation.12 We need women who can detect deception in all of its forms. We need women who know how to access the power that God makes available to covenant keepers and who express their beliefs with confidence and charity. We need women who have the courage and vision of our Mother Eve.

My dear sisters, nothing is more crucial to your eternal life than your own conversion. It is converted, covenant-keeping women—women like my dear wife Wendy—whose righteous lives will increasingly stand out in a deteriorating world and who will thus be seen as different and distinct in the happiest of ways.

So today I plead with my sisters of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints to step forward! Take your rightful and needful place in your home, in your community, and in the kingdom of God—more than you ever have before.”(Russell M. Nelson, “A Plea to My Sisters,” October 2015)

The church gets a lot of criticism for its all-male priesthood, but I have never had any doubt that my place in this church and in the Kingdom of God is just as important and revered. Listening to these great men and the way they speak about women, I know they know it too.

We have a special power as women and it is our responsibility to step into that role. In order to do so we must strengthen our relationship with Christ. We have to carve out the time so that we may have His Spirit and influence with us. Only then will we know His will for us and be able to put our power to work building His kingdom.

Meditation and Journaling Prompt: Do you know your strength and power? What are you doing today to build your relationship with Christ?

Daily Devotionals

A Man of God

nicolepmiles

“I declare my devotion to God our Eternal Father and to His Son, Jesus Christ. I know Them, love Them, and pledge to serve Them—and you—with every remaining breath of my life.” (President Russell M Nelson, January 16, 2018)

 

I felt a powerful spirit as President Nelson spoke these words yesterday. This is a man who is devoted to God and to serving us. I felt the love he has for us – a new level of love as he became steward over us all. I felt the weight of that responsibility and that he has truly dedicated his life to the Lord.

It reminded me of a very special experience I had when I was 19 years old. I left for a study abroad in Paris, France on September 7, 2001. I was young and heading to a foreign land to live alone with a family I could barely communicate with. 4 days later, 9/11 happened and the world changed. Within the week, the church held a special devotional for American members of the church who were living in Paris. It wasn’t a large group. Elder Nelson came to speak to us. I sat in one of the front rows of people to listen to him speak. During one of his pauses while he waited for the translator to finish he looked directly into my eyes, held my gaze, smiled and nodded. I felt an overwhelming feeling of love pouring from him and was hit by a wave of the spirit. I have had very few experiences like that in my life, but at that moment it was abundantly clear that this was a man of God. That He knew Christ and that he was truly an apostle of the Lord. I will never forget it. As I watched him change from apostle to prophet today that testimony rang true. This man is of God. He is a prophet on earth and he will lead us on our path to eternal life with our Father in Heaven.

Daily Devotionals

President Nelson

nicolepmiles

A wide array of feelings has flashed through my heart since I heard the call that will change my life. The first feeling is that of personal inadequacy. That feeling is intensified as I think of the incomparable power of Elders LeGrand Richards and Mark E. Petersen, whose absence we keenly sense. They were, to me, dear friends as well as esteemed leaders. Then, as I look about and see the strength of those more qualified and able than I, I truly am humbled by this calling.
Fortunately, these feelings are blanketed by feelings of faith, for I know the words of Nephi are true: “I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.” (1 Ne. 3:7.) I have implicit faith in the Lord and in His prophets. I have learned not to put question marks but to use exclamation points when calls are issued through inspired channels of priesthood government. (Russell M. Nelson, “Call to the Holy Apostleship, April General Conference 1984).

I am excited to get to know a new prophet. I have a particular affinity for President Nelson as a former stake president in the stake where I grew up. This quote is from his first talk in General Conference just after receiving his call to be an apostle. It is raw, and very personal and I recommend you find it and read it. I love the statement, “I have learned not to put question marks but to use exclamation points when calls are issued.” I certainly can learn from that sentiment as I struggle with getting callings I am not excited about either because I don’t like them or I feel inadequate to do them. This reminder has come to me from many sources lately as I struggle to be happy in callings that I don’t like very much. There is a reason for each and every call, so thank you President Nelson for the encouragement to find the exclamation point.

Meditation and Journaling Prompt: What memories, thoughts or testimonies can you share about our new prophet?